Keeping track

I am not sure i felt nervous now. Nor quite as jittery as that day at the sushi bar. Perhaps the immensity of what is going to happen next friday has not fully settled in yet but i am hopeful that blind panic and fear would not be kicking in anymore after that day. Guess i am as ready as i'll ever be... mentally at least. Preparation-wise, i am still trying to tie up the loose ends. Wilk has been fantastic with his preps but seems to have his bouts of insecurity and panic as well. Just the other day, he woke up and told me that he dreamt our wedding was over, and the great relief he felt when he thought it was. I think i understand how he felt.

Neither of us is at the point where we felt we shouldn't go through with the wedding but taking it as something we have to do, get out of the way of, so that we can go on with our normal life. I don't think there will be a very significant change in things just because we are now 'married' as opposed to being 'attached. Maybe i am wrong but then, our lives for the last two years has been so stable that it seems we are practically married, judging by the time we spent with each other. So i am hoping that the 'change' after signing the marriage cert would be minimal, well at least emotionally.

Practical issues such as where to stay etc would be additional things to worry about but i think we got a good compromise on that so looking forward to see what will happen after friday the 9th of sept.